Humor and jokes for appraisers
Rules We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note: these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
A Blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow 5,000 dollars. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the Blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Blonde returns, repays the 5,000 dollars and the interest, which comes to 15 dollars and 41 cents. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow 5,000 dollars?"
The Blonde replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?"
David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and the worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were to say the least rude.
David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example...
Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. He shook the bird and the bird got more angry and more rude.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking, kicking, and screaming - then suddenly there was quiet.
David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out unto David's extended arm and said, "I'm sorry that I might have offended you with my language and action and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior."
David was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the chicken did?"